When a child goes to the hospital or has medical concerns, brothers and sisters can feel afraid, worried or confused. They are being faced with new and confusing situations. They may hear and see things that they do not understand, may have a change within their daily routines or may be separated from their parents, brother or sister.

Each child has his or her own concerns when a brother or sister requires medical treatment.

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Supporting Siblings – Preparing For A Hospital Admission

When a child goes to the hospital or has medical concerns, brothers and sisters can feel afraid, worried or confused. They are being faced with new and confusing situations. They may hear and see things that they do not understand, may have a change within their daily routines or may be separated from their parents, brother or sister. Each child has his or her own concerns when a brother or sister requires medical treatment.

The following tips from SibsUk will help you understand how your child may be feeling and how to involve and support them.

Talk about what is going to happen and when – mark the dates on a calendar – talk about what routines will be in place for her/him when you are away, and who will help to look after her/him. Ask if there are any things that are particularly important at that time – things at school or a friend’s birthday party. Reassure her/him that she can still do these things and that the carer (person looking after the sibling) will be told they are important and will make sure they happen

Children need matter of fact information about surgery or treatment – do a simple drawing to explain the treatment or surgery, explain about anaesthetic and pain relief after the operation, talk about how it will benefit his/her brother or sister, talk about some of the things that may happen in hospital. With very young children you can role play with a doll to explain the procedures. Include normal everyday procedures as well, such as having food and playing with toys, so that familiar things are included too.

If he/she is worried, say that you feel concerned too, and that it is normal to feel concerned when someone needs treatment or an operation. Also let him/her know you have confidence in the doctors and nurses and that you trust them to take good care of her/his brother or sister. If he/she is worried about how his/her brother or sister will communicate, reassure her that you will talk to staff about your sick/disabled child’s needs.

Get the sibling to help you pack some toys or clothes for his/her brother or sister for the stay in hospital. Ask the sibling to give you something to take that will help you think about the sibling when you are away – like a photo or small toy.

Ask relatives when they visit to make sure to bring something for a sibling too and to ask him/her about things at home/how he/she feels/ and to make a fuss of him/her

Tell relatives not to ask a sibling to be good or to help mum when a brother or sister is in hospital – this is a tricky time for siblings and it is normal to get a temporary decline in behaviour. It is better to say ‘It must be really hard for you, with mum away and your brother/sister in hospital.

Visit teachers and explain what is going to happen and request that a sibling is treated sensitively during this time – a sibling may not work as well, concentration may not be as good as usual, and a sibling may miss some school to visit hospital. Find out if there are any things coming up that you would like to be present at and make plans accordingly. Ask teachers to make sure there are no negative consequences in school as a result of a brother or sister being in hospital. Get them to keep a note of work covered so that you can go over it at a later date.

Original content created and shared with kind permission from Sibs UK

Supporting Siblings – During A Hospital Admission

The most significant factor in sibling adjustment to hospital stays is the length of time away from the parent and brother or sister. Of all the things to do the most important is that a sibling gets to see you lots during this time. If the hospital is near make sure he/she sees you every day and if further away make the gaps as short as possible. The long term benefits will outweigh the inconvenience and expense. Things that will help are:

  • Being able to leave the ward to do something with a sibling – sports day or a trip to the shops for a treat – ask other people to sit with your sick child
  • Ask a sibling to write or draw things to bring to you when he/she visits – ask someone else to keep a diary of all he/she has been doing so that you can talk about these everyday things together. Siblings need to feel that these normal things are still important to you.
  • Ask him/her to make a card for her brother/sister
  • Give the sibling something from his/her brother or sister – a card or tiny gift – so that the giving goes both ways
  • Being able to play with any toys that your sick child has access to
  • Letting the sibling do helpful things for your sick child – like wipe his mouth or comb his hair(if the sibling would like to do this)

  • If your sick child has to be in isolation to prevent infection see if the sibling can speak to him/her on the phone. Keep contact between the children going.

  • Try to maintain usual routines – normal bedtimes, good eating, behaviour standards as before – if you are lax about these the child can feel that you don’t care enough about him/her to impose rules

  • Having someone else to listen to the sibling and give him/her attention while you are away
  • Role model getting help and support for yourself. Take time to look after yourself – if the sibling knows that you are coping and feeling OK about things – he/she will too. Talk through your concerns with friends/professionals, so that you have an outlet for your own worries.

Original content created and shared with kind permission from Sibs UK

Sibling Activities and Supports:

See below for support organisations who provide supports for Siblings.

Many condition specific support organisations provide supports and activities the whole family. Search our database of Irish support organisations to find condition specific supports for your family.

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Family Carers – Young Carers – Sibling Supports

Family Carers – Young Carers – Sibling Supports

Family Carers – Young Carers – Sibling Supports

familycarers.ie | youngcarers@familycarers.ie| Freephone Careline- 1800 240724

Family Carers Ireland provides a range of support to help Siblings/Young Carers and Young Adult Carers look after themselves, these include: Individual and Family Support, Young Carer Support Groups, National Events, Free Young Carer Card, Young Carers in Education

Grief and Loss Supports:

See our Grief and Loss Section for resources and organisation’s to support children who are coping with losing a sibling.